Didn’t get a chance to write today so taking some time to write my thought before the day ends. Here at goth night waiting to get my cards read. Got all dolled up. I’m flattered I got hit on he called me bonita. I’m just not ready to get involved with anyone right now. I feel so used. I’m trying not to get down on myself because it doesn’t serve me and I’ve been getting better every day but I’m just sad. I feel so gullible. Like an idiot. They always say never let a man tell you they don’t like you twice. I’m almost done with my book. Today’s chapter was talking about how you have to treat wins and losses in the same regard. What may feel like a win in the moment can later turn out to be something that’s not good for you while something you may see as a loss can turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I’m starting to acknowledge all of the ways I’ve been disrespecting myself over the years. Not acknowledging the work I’ve been needing to do. It’s like I was frozen. Not wanting to deal with any of the hardships I’ve faced. I’ve had a very rough couple of years. While some things were completely out of my control. There are many situations where I’ve put myself in the space for harm. I should want to change for myself not because of someone else. That’s that he didn’t even know any of the things I’d been to an extent dishonest about or leaving out because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to be with me. The person I want to be with loves all of me despite who I’ve been in the past. They’re not going to be unsure of wanting to be with me. I’m worthy of being loved and I deserve to be with someone who acknowledges my worth and the strength it takes to still have a good heart despite all of the things that have happened to me.