I feel so disappointed. I’m saddened to think that I feel so deeply for someone who everyone unilaterally thinks is a piece of shit. I thought he’d grown from everything and was maturing, becoming more dedicated. Apparently he’s trash with long nails; or so he’s been described as such. I said I never want to see him ever again. I don’t know how true that statement is. No, it needs to be true. I’m also disappointed in myself that I still long for someone who has shown me time after time that they don’t care about me or my feelings. I don’t know if I would fold. I wish I just saw him how everyone else does. Really that’s not true because in a dream world he would have just stepped up. I don’t want to be bitter. I feel like if I thought of him in the way that everyone else does; that’d just make me salty. I just don’t want to have anymore feelings of longing for him anymore. I don’t want to think about him. I want him to be a very distant memory to the point that I even forget that I knew him. If my friends are saying these things I need to understand that they’re seeing things that my feelings are blinding. They’re not saying it to be hurtful. I had a reading about someone in my past who had only changed on the surface. Months have turned to over a year, and time will continue to pass. I hope to think of you less. I still wish you find your truth and not who you think people want you to be. Who knows though - maybe you are living your truth, and the truth is that you were never who I thought you were; maybe that was just what I wanted you to be. I guess I’ll never know. I don’t need to know. All I need to do is continue to evolve and try to work towards the life I always wanted to have.