Getting better at setting boundaries and standing up for myself and others. I’m proud of myself for my progress. I can only control so much but there are a few elements I can alter about my surroundings if I vocalize my needs in the moment. I pushed myself to speak my peace a few times today and it worked out. Work was eh. It was kind of a rough day for me. I’m proud of where I’m going and I forgive myself for where I’ve been. I guess I’m just disheartened by the reality of love. In the end self-love is the only thing that really matters. People will disappoint you, leave you, die before you, etc. You have to be able to love yourself enough to carry yourself through the many disappointments in life. I guess I just had this movie soul-mate idea of love. It’s just not real. I’m mourning the fantasy. I’ve been listening to Natanael Cano’s Diamantes on repeat crying. I’m okay though. I’m not who I was before. Trying to be more grounded and live in the present, not look too far back, or forward. Searching for my inner peace even when the waters get choppy. Maybe my inner-child is disappointed my Dad’s not going to be able to make it this weekend. I’m still working on finding comfort in disappointment. Understanding that my emotions shouldn’t be dictated by things that are out of my control. The week went by so quickly. I don’t want to be afraid of the things I’ve been asking for in this life. I know in my heart what I want. I have to be fearless surrounding the love in my life. I’m not always going to know all the answers. I can seek guidance, but part of life is the unknown. The pleasant surprises. I’m disappointed in not having something to look forward to this weekend to keep my mind occupied. I’ll have to make new plans. That still help me feel like I’m healing and grateful for the people I have in my life. Maybe this song makes me cry because he’s acting like he’s happy with all this shit, but he looks numb in the video. The instrumentals pull at my heart.