Idk why I'm so bothered by everything

i think I just feel fooled

or like my ego was on some shit and then that happened and now I feel like shit

it was in front of me the whole time

i just never took the time to dig

i presumed that since Oregon I should've trusted my instinct

i was scared for a reason

my soul knew  

that day I went home feeling numb

like I thought I'd take something away from what we shared but I didn't feel anything other than guilt about kind of sneaking out w/o telling my grandpa I was leaving  

this is instant karma

yesterday I ran into Jenny and she said Isaac said he saw me

its crazy cause I wrote about him yesterday my nine

even last night when I went out

i feel like I was searching for him in the crowds  

hoping to catch a glimpse  

I thought it'd make me feel better

either cause he looked all shot out

or cause I thought I'd get to turn him down

even though I wrote about him yesterday

i spent time wt 19 but I kept thinking about my nine

i wanted to do positions that my nine and I did