I'm at such a weird place today

im not sure what I want for myself in life rn

sometimes I question if I'm going after the right things

the key word is 'right' 

wtf does that even mean

I like this guy who is probably not even into me  

more than likely not into me

he is probably too young for me

i don't care about any of that though

i just know I like the way I feel when he's around

i never know how to express myself

one of my best friends is all mad at me

I just thought I was being funny

a lot of times the things I think are funny

are apparently not

i need to work on my character

current questions of life

Am I wasting my time trying to do the whole clothing thing? 

is that really my passion if I'm wondering if I'm wasting my time? 

i keep wondering when the boy of my dreams is going to come along; what if he's already in my life and I've been too blind to see

would I just be happier single not ever talking to anyone? I would never have to get out of my comfort zone or feel sad when I don't get a response but is one really the loneliest number?  

Am i still number one? 

lmao okay that last one was a joke

why do i always try to make a joke of everything? 

oh yeah cause I'm a joke