It's crazy cause I saw this meme on tumblr last night and ever since I've been thinking about how much of a brat I am. Like I have little bitch ways and as much as I try to repress them in times of anger it just comes out. Then at that point you've already gotten so mad and thrown a fit that it's awkward to come back from it and admit that in reality I laid out the platform for what was seen as acceptable and it was just being followed through and I overreacted. I've done worse so why is it okay for me to do nonsense and think I have the authority to be upset with someone else for taking my nonsense a step further? How do you even apologize? Fuck man, it just sucks because I feel like part of me wants to keep pushing forward and just forget about everything but it sucks because I see a pattern in myself. Time and time I've thrown tantrums and gotten away with it since childhood and in a way it's like the whole fuckin Freud shit like things that stick with you since childhood. I would throw a tantrum and I would get my way. As an adult that shit is unacceptable and childish. If I feel a certain way I have to fucking vocalize that shit not just ignore people and expect them to know why I'm mad when there's no communication. Like how do I expect to resolve an issue when there is zero communication. I guess I do it to exemplify how upset I am; but in reality my words would say that far more than my silence would. Fuck. I've been going about life all wrong.