Finally

Heard back from my cousin Tony today fucking asshole I feel like I've called andtexted him a million times

"What's up you little slut"

"Nothing just got home from getting hella dicked down" 

"Wtf fool you can't talk to me like that don't say shit like that to me" 

"Why not? You just called me a slut! I'm just fucking around anyways" 

lmfao I can't kid around about getting dick but him and Chris can talk about pussy non-stop

I like tripping people out though he probably hella wasn't expecting that response anyways he says we're gonna have breakfast tomorrow but most of the time if you're in PLPV you're either talking shit, or you're full of it

July 29th 2016

Went out and made a new and better memory for this shirt. I feel like I had started to resent it because it was what I'd worn the night I walked out at AppleBee's but now it's the shirt I wore when I decided I wasn't going to be boring and park on t…

Went out and made a new and better memory for this shirt. I feel like I had started to resent it because it was what I'd worn the night I walked out at AppleBee's but now it's the shirt I wore when I decided I wasn't going to be boring and park on the dance floor or should I say behind the dance floor. I said fuck it and put myself out there and got to dance. Lmfao I wore big ass heels too and kept accidentally stepping on people haha but shit I must have been doing something right cause a band member came up to me and asked me to dance. It crazy how many opportunities will arise when you're willing to be open. Haha my cousin Javis kept trying to hook me up with everyone! Except the guy I actually wanted to get with but I know he liked me he was just playing hard to get fucking braids!  

Embarrassing

Got all fucked up last night I can't believe I threw up everywhere, was dancing like an animal, and lying about getting dick all the time hahahaha I wish I was getting dick all the time I've only had one person.

It's crazy how every time I get fucked up like that I always say it's gonna be the last time but this time it really is when I drink I turn into someone I'm not; a fake whore lmao 

 

Let the arachnophobia begin!

I walked into my room and saw this huge ass spider on a pair of shorts on the floor so I sprayed the fuck out of it with raid then I felt bad cause it didn't look like it was completely dead it looked in pain so I squished it I felt bad afterwards

But now I'm all paranoid about anything I leave on the floor

But now I'm all paranoid about anything I leave on the floor

Yay we're

NOT pregnant! Life rules! That would've hella sucked! 

I was on the shot so I didn't think I was pregnant but since I wasn't getting my period and you know how you sync with whoever you hang out with a lot well everyone and their mom was on their period so I was like wtf man please don't tell me I'm pregnant cause that would be fucking horrible! 

Thank goodness! 

July 25, 2016

My first ever pregnancy scare

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Izzy is ignoring me

I sent them both this in a group text

I sent them both this in a group text

But I sent this to him twice lmfao I guess it doesn't really make sense though since you can't see that Raquel was the one who posted it cause I sent this and said "I think she wants you to touch her pussy" maybe I should send it again he probably h…

But I sent this to him twice lmfao I guess it doesn't really make sense though since you can't see that Raquel was the one who posted it cause I sent this and said "I think she wants you to touch her pussy" 

maybe I should send it again he probably hasn't gotten the joke yet

Mutual Respect

I think for a long ass time I was feeling like "Oh fuck, I've never liked anyone like this I have to do what I can to keep this person cause I would hate to lose them over a moment of honesty" Which is weird cause I felt like there was points in time where I was maybe too honest and brutal. I came to the realization that it doesn't matter how cool I am or the other person is; it never gives you the opportunity to treat anyone with anything other than mutual respect. I was so scared that he wouldn't want to hang out with me if I told him the truth about how I felt about him but that alone should have told me the reality of the situation I was living in. If someone's so ready to easily drop me for speaking my mind then I shouldn't mind that they want to drop me. After today I'm assured that things will only keep consistently getting better for me. If I allowed someone to treat me with such disrespect and unappreciation, what does that really say about how I must feel about myself? I claim to have such high confidence but if I did I would have had too high a respect for myself to allow someone to treat me so nonchalantly as if I was just someone who could be kept on the side. I know I didn't exactly treat him like he was the only one I would act super flirty and out there to I guess what I felt was incite him to want to make me just his but in reality probably made him think I didn't care about him at all and I'm also sure made him think I slept around when in reality I've only been with him and that's how I wanted it to stay. I was stuck wondering where it was that I went wrong or what I could have possibly done to make the situation different but maybe it was ultimately that this was supposed to be nothing other than a learning experience and for the longest time I was interpreting it as fate. I thought we were the same. To some degree I felt like I saw a lot of myself in him like we've both never had anybody give a real fuck about us like really love us I mean I had my Tia Lupe but he seemed to have not even that; someone who without obligation openly loved you to the fullest without any expectation or reciprocation. I guess I wanted to be that for him. Not saying I gave it my all like my Tia Lupe did for me but I think that I was trying to embody her in the process and show him a love I thought he'd never seen but at the same time I was trying to imitate him in his ability to show everyone how little he cares. It's like I was living both extremes. He wasn't always bad to me but there were moments where he treated me how I didn't deserve to be. He often treated me like dirt and I stuck like mud. Which I can't believe since that was something he would say all the time and I was subjected to the losing end of it all. But it's cool to see my own personal progress and growth when it comes to loving and losing. It really is crazy how nostalgia makes you feel like things were better than they really were. After seeing Joesph today I told Maritza that I couldn't wait until the day that I can go back to Martha's and not feel anything the way that I do when I go to Espy's and see Joesph.  I'm glad to see myself progressing and not returning to my old ways of what only now seems to be a desperation for affection that I never even really received whole heartedly.

Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey

Big Mo' hooked it up again with 13 yr old bottle of whiskey😬Can't believe I saw him...I knew I was going to though as I was getting ready to go I had a feeling and then he was there. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be though I'm excited …

Big Mo' hooked it up again with 13 yr old bottle of whiskey😬

Can't believe I saw him...I knew I was going to though as I was getting ready to go I had a feeling and then he was there. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be though I'm excited though because I didn't get butterflies like I used to; I'm healing.