September 30, 2017

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This man was the definition of a pigthe picture of deceit  he was all hitting on me to the point where I switched seats wt Kacey cause he was making me feel awkward af cause she was right there tooi was like wtf is this guy being friendly or all hit…

This man was the definition of a pig

the picture of deceit  

he was all hitting on me to the point where I switched seats wt Kacey cause he was making me feel awkward af cause she was right there too

i was like wtf is this guy being friendly or all hitting on everyone

he kept trying to put his head on my shoulder and shit I was like gtfo

then what an asshole when we ran into him by the rr

thats not my girl

i felt like telling her she deserved way more than that

some people want love so badly they seek it blindly

they ignore the gut feelings and the instincts  

cause they're hoping somewhere along the way they'll see what a gem you are

the truth is  

lauryn hill said it best

dont be a hard rock when you really are a gem

we let things slide cause we don't want to be alone and the hope hides the truth and reality

but you pretend you don't see it  

so you can pretend you're loved

all you need is love

but you have to be weary about where you search for it

you can't get lost in a web of lies that you've guilded yourself into believing so you can merit your actions

BevMo

When I went yesterday I was going to kill some time after I worked all day

The Bevmologist and I must have the same pallet bc all the stuff I was looking at was marked as his favorite and I couldn’t decide what I wanted

Wine

Whiskey

or a good beer

Wine: they had really good deals but let’s be real I go through a bottle of wine in 1-2 days so spending $15 on a bottle isn’t really budget friendly for me even if one more bottle is just 5 cents  

cause if you divide that then you’re paying Like $7.50 and I’m cheap af and i know there’s places out there where I can get a two buck chuck

Whiskey: they had cheaper options but every time I’ve been seeing Tin Cup I just keep eyeballing it but the price always turns me away but I thought about it and I haven’t bought anything bigger than a 4pk so I’m spending about $3 per beer cause even the 4pk I get comes out to $10 so in a way if I pay this $27 for a bottle it’ll be saving me money and alcohol cause since I paid so much for it I’m not gonna be all willy nilly and I have to make it last

this is just a theory

im testing my hypothesis  

I’m an alcohol scientist

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Tin Cup Whiskey

My favorite whiskey paired wt hand-squeezed Orange juice from here on my family’s property, and Grapefruit juice from my cousin’s tree! (I kept some seeds from the biggest one he gave me I’m low key trying to grow my own!) 

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Oliver? Like twist?

Hey! That’s pretty good! I guess that’s supposed to scare the Dickens out of me?

That’s hilarious I’ve never heard that before!

What you said was pretty good too! 

No one’s ever told you that before? 

I usually say it! I always get people calling me Olivia like I’ll make reservations somewhere and they’ll get that down so I always say Oliver, like twist! That’s why when you said it I was so taken a back but that says a lot about you. I bet you like to read!

1/28/18

Jan 18, 2016

My Tia Lupe was 92, and her health was slowly declining. She had just come home from the first hospital visit. Still not really able to speak. I brought various items to try to strike up a conversation wt her. In my hand I was holding a doll she had made out of paper towels to demonstrate the types of dolls she grew up wt on el rancho. She made it when she was staying with us in Orange Cove. She always bounced back. She was always resilient. This was the hardest time of my life. My mom was dying. I'll never receive a love more pure, honest, and caring than the love that she gave me. Forever on my mind; forever in my heart. Time has passed and I can't believe how much. This feels like it was only a few months back. The memory as fresh as the wound feels, as I travel through the memories in my mind.

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