Junk

It always feels good when I organize and downsize

Idek how much shit I’ve donated in my life

i feel like i want to do this every couple of months

Sometimes I feel like I hold onto shit cause of the person that gave it to me or what it reminded me of

Feelings are felt in that moment

the rest is just memories

things and people are meant to come in and out of your life  

everything in your life is forever changing

even feelings  

dont forget  

one man’s trash is another man’s treasure  

so don’t just settle for sexual pleasure 

I think the more you trust your intuition the stronger it grows 

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Everything’s a learning process

Whatever happened to me wt IM was because I knew deep down inside that we weren’t meant to be and I still went for it

the incidents that ensued only served to show me that he wasn’t the one for me, he was always going to hurt me, and that he didn’t respect me whatsoever; even as a friend  

it also served to show me that M wasn’t my friend  

you have to find balance between your mind heart, and soul

you mind and soul will tell you what the right choice is but sometimes your heart is so big wt love for people you let it sway your decisions not considering that you need to love yourself more than those people cause a lot of times people don’t give a fuck about anybody but themselves and they don’t mind letting you know wt their actions either

if things are meant to be

they will be

a lot of times I think my Tia Lupe is helping me to see things that I probably wouldn’t have unless she put things into place for me

that guy must not have been for me if things didnt work out

but i didn’t let it get me down and because of that i was rewarded wt something I had been waiting on for what felt like forever  

It’s like she was saying okay so you can’t have that dude but it’s cool he wasn’t for you anyways that was me, I was looking out for you cause I could see that he was just gonna hurt you and I know it sucks but you’re going to be so happy when you see ya real manz comes in the mail tomorrow I love her she hella looks out for me

my angel

as my eyes well up wt tears it’s only because of how much love fills my heart when you cross my mind I miss you so much  

my great teacher of life  

I think of you every day

 

Good Morning!

even though I didn’t fall asleep til like 4 I couldn’t sleep in I ended up waking up around 9 

i feel like I’ve been hella getting shit done

my to do list isn’t finished yet but I’m still impressed of the shit I’ve done

hella caught up wt my mom and Amelia

we're planning a family trip to Disneyland for Christmas next year I’m all excited  

my mom says we’ll go in Juan’s new Tahoe cause we’ll all fit! I was like how cute it’ll be like old times

i hope this is the start of a yearly vacation for us

Frankie is the homie dude I hope he ends up going wt me this Wednesday that’d be a cute ass date night

 

I kept waking up but it was the weirdest thing I kept telling myself to get up but then I wouldn't and I would wake back up thinking that hours had past

but it was only a few min

Talked to Chris before work today man he's my favorite person to bullshit wt man

I don't know anyone who can build up from my humor the way he does

Lmfao he was asking me what had happened wt Tony's friend Marcello that night we all went out

"My friend was all fucked up and throwing up and Tony was still tryna get at it"

"I have juusust the thing for nausea"

"Oh, you mean you don't know you're supposed to suck dick if you want to sober up?"

Lmfao man I shared a lot of laughs with people today

Kacey called cause she wanted me to tell Paul about stupid funny ass shit that's happened wt my family

"Why would she marry him though if she's hella pretty?" "Cause I guess everyone ran through it and no one wanted to marry her except him" "Who said that? Your mom?" "Yeah hahahahaha"

fuck we were hella laughing my mom is a hella hater she's so funny man

In the car on my way to work I admitted to Brian that I met up wt I.M.

he just kept saying how disappointed he was

"Why did you do it?"

"Idk dude sometimes you get bored...

and other stuff"

-yeah and lonely

-[lmao] no bored and horny, I mean I regret it but I mean it's easy, effortless, satisfactory, and comfortable I've already fucked him before and we spent more time catching up and shit than we did hooking up and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had a really good time wt him

-no well I get that you have needs and everyone has their shit but I just thought you'd be smarter than that. Cause it's just like you said 'comfortable' it's like you can go and do that shit but why does it got to be with him it's like you can get out of your comfort zone and do that shit with any of the guys who have been trying to date you but you're like nah I'll stay here where it's 'comfortable'

omg I wonder if he was referencing that Jamie foxx shit I saw the other day about comfortable I'm gonna ask him

Cyn is cool man I really enjoy our talks I feel like she zens me out

 

Lmao how I’m even alive after not getting home til 5  

not being able to fall asleep til like 6

and waking up at 10 to consistently work until this very moment

and I still have to wash my face and get ready for bed

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What is love?

Baby don’t hurt me,

but for real doe.

wtf is love

does it grow

how does it spark

do you build it

or is it just there

Men are weird

I’m even weirder

i don’t know what i want

like I’m so happy rn  

other than the fact that I feel like I’m working a lot  

I’m so happy  

so independent...kind of

i try to be as independent as possible  

but sometimes I wish I had someone there

i just wonder if it’s someone who I’ve already met

someone I’ve overlooked

someone I never gave a chance

someone I gave a chance and then just stopped talking to

someone I gave up on? 

but then I think you can’t be someone I overlooked cause if you were that great I would’ve noticed you already

you can’t be someone who I never gave a chance to cause if you were someone I thought was worth it I would’ve given you one

someone I just stopped talking to would’ve had to have been mutual cause communication is mutual when it’s happening and when there’s a lack there of

like if things didn’t work out then they didn’t you can’t fit a puzzle piece where it doesn’t go

if things were meant to have been they would have been

maybe I don’t try hard enough

do you even have to try for love though? Should you have to try for love? Shouldn’t it just be there already? 

i imagine true love to fill you with a warmth so strong that it engulfs you like a flame  

consumes you

Come on baby light my fire