"So now I'm the bad guy"

I asked the universe to show me if we were meant to be together and this whole situation completely answered that. He made a joke of the whole thing and I think the whole time we had our shit going on I was always scared to say how I felt because I thought he was going to push me away or not want to talk to me anymore and that scared me more than having to harbor my feelings. He couldn't answer one question seriously. I just wanted to talk to him and see the world through his eyes again and see what I'd missed out on since we haven't talked all these months because I've missed him so and I felt my heart had been longing for this gilded man boy. Now that I've given different people an opportunity to touch on some of what I gifted him I see that every feeling I had was justified and clearly visible. Eyes don't lie. When I almost hooked up with Tony's friend cause that was my first attempt at trying to say fuck it I'm gonna be with someone else already so I can forget him. I nor he could bring himself to do anything. I was scared and he could see it and he told me we didn't have to do anything if I didn't feel comfortable. I feel like I had that same look the day I lost my virginity but he was as terco as I was that day and neither one of us cared that I was scared, I didn't care cause I thought that it was what he thought I needed to do to be girlfriend material. Tonight really made me see how much of a fool I've been. I guess what I'm saying is that people i barely knew showed me more respect that what he showed me tonight. All the hurt you've caused me and you can't even hear me out when you're the one who sought me out?! I was in bed already! You're the one who kept messaging me

Update:

This is still relevant; constantly dealing with man boys.