I always try to justify things being so shitty because I got my hopes up, or had ridiculous expectations; but fuck that. I have high expectations for how I think people should behave in certain situations, and just because someone wants to watch movies and hang out at their house doesn't mean they're trying to fuck. I have plenty of numbers, if I wanted to fuck I could dial those ASAP I'm not interested in just fucking. Idk I thought I was ready for a relationship and attempted this whole little charade because I thought he was a respectful dude, which I guess he ultimately was since he respected that I wasn't interested in doing anything. I could, however, see that he was hella asshurt and kind of, I think, trying to guilt trip me into something, anything, lmfao as Gary would say, "Come on just one pee-pee touch". I don't know how long it will take me to feel comfortable getting close to someone and allowing someone to get close to me but I definitely know that it was NOT today. I thought I wanted to hold hands with someone but it's sweaty and I don't like it. I thought I would want to cuddle and watch movies but I just felt squished and very unproductive. I hardly ever feel unproductive, I tend to think pretty highly of myself so something was clearly wrong. I think this whole thing happened so I could see how awesome I have it being single. The world is my oyster.
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