Today was an interesting day to say the least.

I've been so deep into thought that I feel like an asshole because I feel like I haven't been taking the time to really listen to the people out there in my life. I started feeling this way the last time I went to go visit my Tia Lupe who is now refusing to talk....I was like remembering when I was living there and the times that she tried to talk to me and the times I would not even pay attention to her and it made me feel guilty because now that I'm ready to listen it's not an option for me anymore. I miss her telling me stories of her growing up in Mexico and having to walk far to wash their clothes in the river and shit like that. I don't think I've had a great conversation with anyone in I don't even remember how long. I find myself getting to points where I'm having to come up with something to keep the conversation going. I was thinking of how I've just been a lazy ass for the last couple of years. I saw this young woman in the office and then I ended up seeing her again in my kindergarten class, it turns out she's possibly going to be the newest addition to the kindergarten staff should things work out for her which I hope they do. But her ambition has inspired something within myself. She said she'd just graduated from Fresno State, she started off at COS (like me, only I never continued) and now she's going to become a kindergarten teacher at the age of 23 (my age) because she was focusing on herself and what she really wanted to do. I can't wait for tomorrow, and another tomorrow because if I keep focusing on other shit my dreams won't come true. Lose myself in work and stop trying to please others. I have to learn that it's okay to be selfish sometimes. Wtf have I been waiting for like I feel like things are finally starting to fall into place for me I just have to keep pushing forward. 

-I hate when people come up to me and complain about Martha's like I only wait tables there you complaining is only making for an awkward situation for the both of us. One of my co-workers from the elementary school I work for complained about one of my best friends and I was in shock about it. I don't understand why people act that way towards him, I explained to her that it's impossible for him to overcharge her because it's all computers and we just type in exactly what you got. I asked if she received an itemized receipt and she said no. I suggested that she get one next time so she can see everything she's being charged for. Now it's awkward because all the aides are going in on Friday for a party - I'll be working but I still agreed to be a part of the secret santa and oddly enough the co-worker who approached me is the one I got.